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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
2:18 pm - feeling hollow
luckily work keeps me too busy to think

i walked away from work tired as hell
with a pocket full of tips
did i do a good job?
put it this way
a stripper gave me three ones

my left foot is sore for some reason, i'm dirty as hell, and ,my hands are red and purple, with developing blisters. ouch.

i've probably said it before, but this week has been the most negative and most positive week of my life.

growing closer and happier with friends and family

while simultaniously losing the one responsible for me becoming closer with friends and family

i must be a genius, i dont know anyone else who could fuck up like this
Comments: 3 drops of poisons - bite down.
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
8:34 pm - this is not me trying to be an asshole
this is me trying to prove a point
it hasnt been this year only that we've been close
its been well over a year now
messages from my old easy journal

one of us remembered

love you
Posted 5.16.2003 12:09 PM

when you least expect it, it will happen
open your eyes to ALL possibilites

Posted 5.22.2003 6:19 PM

DEpression is NOT your girl...shut up!!! you just need to get out of this funk...remember when i was down abuot all of my bullshit, and you helped me.....now it is my turn to return the favor!!! i will always be here for you silly.....love ya


hey you
Posted 6.9.2003 2:24 PM

its me of course..your one and only special girl!...my weekend kicked some major ass, the days sort of melted into one another...but yea, prom was sooo awesome and i had the best time. Of course, i was in the middle of all the drama, but what can i do ya know?...i really appreciate your message of saying gooodnight...it made my day. love ya lots...i'll call ya today!



Posted 6.10.2003 12:56 PM

if you dont shut up abuot how crappy your life is i'm gonna hurt you...and not in the way youd like. :) you are going to be soooo happy one day, just be optimistic!!! love you lots!


i love my.....
Posted 6.11.2003 3:56 PM


have a good day!!!



Posted 6.12.2003 2:55 PM

why are you so angry?..is it only becasue of your car or what?....i feel like i havent talked to you in forever and I HATE THIS feeling...i miss you and due to me being busy i havent seen you.:( i dont want to lose the closeness we have or best friendship so im gonna try harder :)thanks for my 'goodnight' messages...they make my day..muuuahhh

love you david


all from the same source, not to mention post cards that say the same.

this isnt a lash out , it just allways hurt when you swore we've only been close for a few months
Comments: 3 drops of poisons - bite down.
Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
4:04 am - calling it quits
with this lj soon

i'm switching to one i've had hidden for a while, wordsofheart

i cant exactlly stand up to death before dishonor any more

i added most of you , so feel free

say goodbye in a couple days
Comments: 1 drops of poison - bite down.
Monday, August 23rd, 2004
1:29 am - where does it go from here
We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."
We could live through these letters or forget it all together
See the months they don't matter it's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care Say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care Say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing about

When all that we need is just a reaction
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction
I want to remember but I know that I can't go back

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care Say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care Say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing about.

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care Say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care Say you won't care
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing about.

current mood: guilty
Comments: bite down.
Friday, August 20th, 2004
8:24 pm - life as a civilian
after exactly 11 months, its over.

no longer the physical solution, and its some what sad.

I might miss the job a little, but mostly it'll be a few of the team members.

I'd have to say right off the bat that i will miss martha the most.
most team members think martha is too bossy , but no one factors in that she babysits the cashiers all day. It was fun working with martha, cause we both had each others backs, i dont think there was a better frontlane-tps team than us.

Next has to be vilai. although the last three months i havent been in garden as often , i'm never gonna forget my midget asian team member who continuously threatend to hack me up. She never took shit from anyone, and had the best dont fuck with me stare.

Then of course brenda. everyday was spent arguing like kids . me knocking her visa applications all over the floor and her kicking me in the shins. the perfect love hate relationship.

stacy and kindra. who else could i prank call in full view and still have them puzzled. plus i'll miss watching them have to scrub the walls in food ave.

plus a few more like , jessica, lucy, jody, jillmarie who was always looking for a fight. and diandra, who i allways thought was damn cute, but never said anything cuase i didnt want a sexual harrasment counciling. stacy if you're reading this tell diandra i thought she was hot.

now i've joined the ranks of the fallen tps of 1846
very sad for me, aside from the fact that i still have a uniform shirt and two hats.
all mine

now i'm gonna sit here and wait for chris some more.

current mood: contemplative
Comments: 4 drops of poisons - bite down.
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
2:20 pm - goodnight
bailed from work early, without tell the boss lady

got my hugs in

watched hobart at chris screen print shirts

picked up rachel and hit Grossmont mall for a while

met up with hobo and chris at In N Out

screwed around mt helix for a bit then to blockbuster and vons

got two videos and some nestle drumsticks

back to hobarts for padres and his kitten that smells like shit

back home to a reassuring phone call and my tape of fraggle rock, first damn episode

current mood: thankful
Comments: 1 drops of poison - bite down.
Sunday, August 15th, 2004
6:39 pm - i should get fired for this
but i am quitting so who cares

i'm bored as hell this morning, no one watching me to make sure i'm not screwing around, but my favorite cashier is on her break, so i have no one to talk to
and nothing productive to do ..... until i feel eyes watching me

naturaly i look back towards the aisle to electronics, and in my perifrials i see
a head pop up and down by the trading card wall
a little black head, and not being racist i 've worked at target long enough to know whats up. so being the bad guy i am, i walk towards the kids direction, to force him out of hiding, and it works, he takes off towards shoes, so i cut through a few aisles until i come up to a break in the wall 4 and a half feet behind the kid with his back to me. i watch him rip open a 12 dollar box of pokemon cards and stash the empty box under the shoe rack and take off
i grab the box and let him move through the store until hes at the far end of the store heading towards the front , until i step out in front of him about 5 yards away, old west style. the kid stops dead in his tracks , and stare at him for a second , then tell him to come here. i hold the box out and tell him to give me the cards.... of course he doesnt have them, so i pull out my cuffs and again tell him to give me the cards... again, he doesnt have them..... so i finally say " either i fill up this box, or i fill up these cuffs, and the little shit finally pulled them out of his pocket. i grab em and say guess what, you're leaving now and you arent coming back. and right when i get them to the door, his dad says whats going on here. I tell him that his son was attemping to shoplift, and that he was no longer allowed in the store, he asks if his son can wait in food ave, i ask wait for what.. the dad was in the middle an interview, i tell the kid has to take a hike, and that i was sorry that his son probably ruined his chances of a job.

and that was that
not a very good conclusion
but im gonna miss being a rent a cop
Comments: 4 drops of poisons - bite down.
1:00 am - quick update
I have a couple days left as a tps, but somehow i dont think i'm gonna survive til thursday
since the 12th 6 Targets and mervyns in SD have gotten bomb threats, including mine on the 13th. all six of them are connected, but so far they've all been bull shit
i feel like i'm in lethal weapon, and i'm just saying to myself 4 days til retirement while all hell is gonna break loose. all i know is i'm not getting blown up for 775 an hour

friday was pretty good
saw avp with dan and chris, and i expected more, but it was still ok
after that we did a little sit down dinner at por favor, that was fun as hell because of the white trash that we made fun of.
friday night was pretty much non-stop laughing

now i kinda need to go to sleep considering i work in the morning at due to it being sunday, i'll be extra iritable.

current mood: calm
Comments: 1 drops of poison - bite down.
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
11:10 pm - sept 29
story of the year
my chemical romance
letter kills
soma $16

good shit
Comments: 2 drops of poisons - bite down.
3:20 am - extreme anger
these past three days have been pretty good
and i managed to be sooo insanely happy today, until now
i 'm sooo fucking pissed, and i'm gonna go to sleep pissed.
a nice start to the week.

current mood: aggravated
Comments: bite down.
Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
2:49 am
i've been better
Comments: 1 drops of poison - bite down.
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
6:01 am - i almost pissed myself
"Mankind. That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it is fate that today is the second of august and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist! And should we win the day, the 2nd of august will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today, we celebrate our sticky trap day!"

i was under my own misguided impression that our "small rodent problem " was just that. not the mouse monster from the princess bride.
just take a little ride with me.......

tonight , after i got home, i remembered to place the sticky traps i bought around the kitchen.
i fell into a light sleep on the couch for most of the night, until i was awakend by hell unleashed in the kitchen. it sounded as if we had a cat having seizures in the kitchen. i allready knew what was up , and ran to my room, yelling " tony, we got the bastard". Tony flies out of bed , and we race to the kitchen where we came whittness to bigest rat i've seen in a while. I thought it was a goddamn freakshow.
He's thrashing around half attached to the sticky trap. personally i have nothing against rats, but this one is clearly evil......... shitttttt hes back

we gotta try and containhim
Comments: 1 drops of poison - bite down.
Sunday, August 1st, 2004
11:06 pm - only I get to fuck with the team members!
So the girl up front was asking guests if they wanted to apply for visa cards...
And just happens to ask this "large" black lady and her husband if they want to apply. So the original queen of comedy looks at her watch for 5 seconds then says, "nope credits still bad", then proceeds to hit her husbands arm and screech out her horrible laugh. So as loud and as obnoxious as i possiblly can, i start "whaaa ha ha"ing for a good long 30 seconds. I guess she got the point, cause it sure looked like i made her feel like an ass.

the highlight of my work night

As I'm walking to my car, i see that its covered with sticky notes, and after seeing the inscriptions, it wasn't hard to decipher who left them. though i figured it was a hit and run, i was bummed rushed by chula and hobart, and we talked in the p-lot for a bit. yes i would do any for love, but i sure as shit wont do that.

I'm home now, which tony has completly cleaned since aaron left. i just dont know how long its going to be home, if tony doesnt pay the damn rent like he was supposed to .

watching cnn where these bastards are strelizing elephants, because they want to play god. assholes . i want to dart gun them and cut off their balls, " for their own good"
man is the worst thing to happen nature.

current mood: crazy
Comments: bite down.
2:41 am - dont kid yourself
you really dont want to read this

its funny , the fact that i dont really like being around people, let alone mass amounts of them.

and i pick the job where i am subject to dealing with the worst people that the surrounding area has to offer.

probably not a good thing

two more days with my boss, then i gotta get used to a strange lady

he was talking to her on the phone about her new ap team

he doesnt have much to say for the new kids since they're NEW

but i get "he knows what hes doing and can take care of the store, and you can allways rely on him........... to be ten minutes late"
a damn cold thing to say...... he should just schedule me tens minutes late

but work is work

and it sucks that every day is winding into another

i need something else to take up my time
not to fun thinking of my day as sleep work sleep

i am a robot

my lack of social life has left me feeling lifeless
which sucks cause i had a pretty good streak this last month and a half
i guess a little more depression will be an even exchange

emo is back in business

current mood: blah
Comments: 3 drops of poisons - bite down.
Friday, July 30th, 2004
6:26 am - WAR
we have a rodent in our kitchen

gonna have to watch mouse hunt

to dispose of this

little bastard
Comments: bite down.
Thursday, July 29th, 2004
8:22 pm - ok
i just stuffed a whole lotta bad things into my stomach

now to update

too much to mention in this post, as i'm trying to get the hell out of here.

I'll go on to say that i've gained the final skill of assholiness that i had only seen jonathan perform with out consequence. i can now talk shit to guests out loud .. without them paying any attention to me.

And that i am losing my boss to another store. sucks, because he was soo damn cool, and now i have to play by someone elses rules.

more later.
Comments: 2 drops of poisons - bite down.
6:45 pm - well
i really want to update, but i'm too damn hungry right now
Comments: bite down.
Friday, July 23rd, 2004
4:20 am - an equal dose of good and bad
the upside of today, was that no one fucked with me at work, it went by really fast and i took off early

had time to stop of atmy moms and hang out with my lil sister

caught up with the sleep i missed and woke up at seven

screwed around for a while

then spent the rest of the night and into this morning hanging out with trisha
watching tv, while tony was mac'in on katie in the room........with the lights off....and the door locked... dont know what went on , and i hate the term mac'in

and since it was an even balance today

the negative

a no go on saves the day

and i made strike number two, buy making a stupid comment that wasnt at all serious
but made for a not good time, that i apologize for,
a little patience please, still trying to figure out what
the "boundaries" are

its too hot to sleep comfortably
Comments: 1 drops of poison - bite down.
Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
4:15 am - tired
spent the last 3 hours playing trivial pursuit with a bunch of diserters and joeys mom shes the only one that stayed in the game besides me

just so happens i am now the king of lotr trivial pursuit

god i need a life

once again i'm pulling a night shift
sucks, except for ....... nothing it sucks
Comments: bite down.
Monday, July 19th, 2004
3:54 am - wahhhhh
slightly bummed

but oh well
Comments: bite down.
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